


学不会

by NoHappyEnding, VOlympianlove



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:45:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoHappyEnding/pseuds/NoHappyEnding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VOlympianlove/pseuds/VOlympianlove
Summary: "He's gone, Your Highness." The man's eyes were dark as he surveyed the prince. He never seemed to notice the ghostly white figure hovering behind him, gazing at the prince intently.  Yifan did not dare to breathe as he stared. Yixing dimpled sweetly at him and as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone.





	

Yifan screamed when a hand wrapped around his mouth and instinctively lashed out, using his height as an advantage. His captor grunted and kicked him in the soft spot behind his knee, sending the prince tumbling onto the ground in pain. A heavy weight settled across Yifan’s back and he arched off the ground, kicking and screaming as a black cloth was pulled around his eyes and coarse rope expertly bound around his wrists even as he struggled violently to dislodge the man sitting on top of him.

“Be still or I will slit your throat.” The voice was low and menacing as the cold tip of a dagger was pressed against the soft skin of his throat. Yifan swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously against the tip of the knife. His mouth was forced open by a rough hand before a wad of cloth was stuffed unceremoniously into his mouth and a bandanna tied securely around it to prevent him from screaming for help. Blindfolded with his hands bound tightly behind him, Yifan could only feel as the man wrestled him to his feet and manhandled him away to god knows where. He regretted sneaking out away from his father now. His captor had now been joined by several more men and he could tell because there were more hands placed on him and one hand even groped his ass. He squirmed away, protesting soundly but the gag muffled his cries.

As they led him away from the dark alleyway he thought he had escaped to, he could hear the waves that meant that they were near the harbour.

_Pirates._

His mind screamed at him even as he was forced forward with a knife and the barrel of a gun pressed between his shoulder blades. Terror ran rampant through him as he heard the loud boisterous laughter of the men around him. He was shoved up a plank and stumbled forward onto the deck of the ship.

“Put him belowdecks,” a loud booming voice whom Yifan presumed was the captain yelled across the deck of the ship and he lurched when someone shoved him along. He felt himself being led down a set of stairs and finally a door was opened.

“Fine ransom you will fetch.” The man holding him laughed and pushed him roughly into a damp room. The prince landed painfully on his knees and he heard the door behind him click shut.

Slowly, he shifted into a sitting position, feeling the dampness of the boards seep into his pants. He tugged at the ropes holding his wrists together but they were tied tightly with barely any give; whoever tied them was an expert seaman and Yifan did not expect any less. He moaned pitifully through the gag and turned over onto his back, his jaw already sore and his arms aching. The ropes were coarse and rubbed against the skin of his wrists roughly. He felt the floor beneath him lurch and he let out a sob when realized that the ship was moving. No one would be able to find him now.

The prince laid on the damp wood, trembling at the thought of what could happen to him. Nightmarish images of his father refusing to send the ransom to the pirates throwing him overboard flickered through his mind and he succumbed to the tears that had been gathering behind his eyes and sobbed. Time seemed to bleed together and he had no idea how much time had passed as he lay there, throat dry and hoarse from crying and stomach empty.

The sound of the door opening made him tense and he pretended to be asleep, bracing himself for the heavy handling of the pirates.

Instead, he felt a gentle hand lift off his blindfold and stroke the dried tear tracks on his cheeks. The young man crouched at his side was stunning even in the dimness of the room.

His hands were gentle as he ran them over Yifan’s body, checking for injuries. “If you promise not to scream, I'll take this off.” The man spoke softly, his voice sounding like one of an angel’s. Yifan nodded slowly, unable to tear his eyes away, and the man worked the cloth off, allowing the prince to spit out the wad of cloth in his mouth.

“You must be parched.” The stranger wrapped an arm around the prince’s back and sat him up gently, lifting a bowl to his lips. “Drink.” Yifan groaned in relief as the cool water ran down his throat, soothing the soreness.

“Are… are you a prisoner too?” Yifan asked after he had drained the bowl. The man smiled at him and shifted into a sitting position.

“No. I am the captain’s son.” Yifan’s blood ran cold. How could someone so beautiful, so gentle, be a pirate? The smile slipping off the other man’s face made Yifan realize that he had been slowly inching away from him after that revelation. The man opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but the door slammed open and a hulking man appeared in the doorway.

“Captain said to bring out the prisoner.” The captain’s son nodded and rose to his feet, moving away as the new man hauled Yifan roughly to his feet.

Yifan blinked, the sunlight nearly blinding him as he was dragged out onto the main deck. The entire crew was standing around watching as he was pushed over to the mast. With thick rope he was secured tightly to the mast and the captain stepped forward to face him, a cruel smirk on his face.

“It's our lucky day, mates. Look who I found wandering around without a guard.” The crew jeered in delight. Faintly, Yifan remembered seeing the crest the captain wore somewhere on his father’s papers. With chilling clarity, he recalled what those papers had said.

He had stumbled upon the most wanted pirate crew in all of China. The pirate crew that had nearly destroyed his father's ship on a returning journey.

He remembered it all so clearly now; his father stumbling home and recounting how the cannons on his ship had barely been able to take down the opposing pirate ship. Somehow, the captain must have survived.

 

“The bastard king’s son! A prince! I'm sure he will be delighted to receive a ransom letter from me, Captain Zhang! Strip him down and punish him for his father’s deeds!”

The men cheered and rushed forward, tearing and ripping at his shirt. Yifan thrashed and struggled, screaming in terror. His eyes locked on a figure standing still on the other side of the deck. The captain’s son. He was staring at him with a look of pity. Yifan screamed out to him but he turned away with an apologetic look and vanished belowdecks.

//

The wood was coarse, too rough against Yifan’s face as he strained against the ropes binding his wrists. The pirates had stripped him of his shirt and pressed him face first against the mast with his back bared. The sea breeze was cold against his skin and he was terrified, feet planted shoulder width apart to brace himself.

“Give him a taste of the cat, Captain!” the crew jeered and Yifan suppressed a whimper. The dreaded cat o nine tails. He had heard of it from his father’s descriptions and his father had not spared him the details of the horrible marks they left after punishment. The cat o nine tail was a thirty plus inch whip with nine knotted thongs of cotton cord, designed to cause excruciating pain.

Yifan heard the captain’s low chuckle and wondered yet again how it was possible for a man with a heart so black to have a son so stunning. What cut his thoughts short was the sharp whistle of a whip cutting through the air… and then his back was on fire. His back arched and he felt his skin split open, nine ways. Vividly, he remembered his mother striking him with a bamboo cane when he was a child and had been terribly naughty and the pain then had been horrific but this.

This was that multiplied by a thousand. The air seemed to have been sucked right out of his lungs yet the scream that tore out of his mouth did not sound human, at least not to him. He could feel the blood, the crimson red blood dripping down his back.

The air hummed again and he cried out as the whip made contact a second time, adrenaline rushing through his veins as the pain seemed to multiply. The pain seared through his whole body and his knees shook, his bones feeling as if they had melted into liquid. The only thing holding him up was the ropes around his wrists that were digging in so deep that he could feel them cutting into flesh.

He braced himself against the mast, mind going blank as the whip sang. After the nth strike, he lost count of how many strikes he had suffered and just slumped forward against the wood. His throat was dry and parched again, the little water that the captain’s son had kindly given him dried up and gone. His body shook uncontrollably as he struggled to keep his footing. The world was starting to look too bright and there was a buzzing in his ears that covered most of the jeering from the crew members.

At long last the whip stilled and the prince pressed his forehead against the mast, his lips trembling. He was covered in sweat, the perspiration running down his bare back mixing with the blood and stinging the open wounds made by the cat o nine rails. There were tears running down his face and his lower lip had been bitten so hard that it had split, the taste of blood lingering on his tongue. He was panting as if he had just run a marathon without stopping to drink and his legs felt like they were made of jelly, wobbling dangerously.

“Leave him.”

He barely heard the captain’s cruel words over the buzzing in his ears that had amplified into a roar and he had no idea how he managed to stay upright, forehead pressed to the hard, unyielding wood of the mast. The men around him dispersed and he thought he would be left alone but fingers curled tight around his chin and yanked his head up, causing the wood to chafe roughly against his skin.

The captain’s scarred face swam into his hazy vision and he had scarcely drawn breath when there was a hard blow to his cheek and his head was whipped around, slamming hard into the mast. He could smell salt and fish on the pirate’s breath as the man leaned close to hiss into his ear.

“Every blow you suffered is equal to the number of good men I lost on that ship your father gunned down.”

The prince could hardly think, but his mind registered the fact that this pirate had actually cared about his crew before everything around him lost colour and he sunk into an abyss of black.

 

 

学不会

 

Yixing had never seen a man as handsome as the prince who was slumped against the wooden mast of the ship.

_He looks like a Greek god,_ he thought as he folded a linen napkin he had stolen from his father’s drawer into a long strip. The ship was quiet, only the sound of the waves gently rocking the Chinese junk from side to side breaking the silence.

The healer dipped the linen into the bowl of salt water he had brought with him and let the saline liquid saturate the cloth before wringing out some of the water. The prince had yet to awaken from when he had lost consciousness earlier after the beating.

Yixing had not been able watch as his father mutilated the prince’s once spotless back, having once experienced the taste of the cat o nine tails himself once before. The red blood that had soaked into the wooden boards at the prince’s feet was a horrific sight and it was with pity that the captain’s son dabbed the saltwater-drenched cloth against the prince’s open wounds.

His father had ordered the crew men to leave the prince as he was, paying no heed to the fact that the royal could possibly die from his wounds or shock. Any man found disobeying the captain’s orders could possibly be forced to walk the plank or be whipped by the cat but Yixing was a healer at heart. He could not find it within himself to leave such a young man to death.

He had seen his own blood stain the floors of this ship but he suspected that the captain had held back a lot more back then because the prince’s face a terrible shade of white and he hung limply as if he could not find the strength to hold himself up. He had never hated his father more than in that instant as he gazed upon the prince’s face, the man’s brows furrowed and eyelids creased shut in pain.

The prince’s skin was warm to the touch as the healer lifted the cloth away to examine the wounds further. Yixing feared that the man would not live past the night as he set down the bowl and tore off a strip of his own shirt to soak with cool water.

Carefully, he laid the thin fabric over the prince’s forehead and pressed his fingers to his jugular to check his pulse.

“Hnnngh.” The healer lurched back in surprise when the man stirred beneath his fingertips. The prince’s lashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes. The skin on his pale cheek was starting to purple into an ugly bruise but that did nothing to mar his good looks.

"Who..." The prince twisted his head weakly, trying to look over his shoulder to see who was touching him and Yixing withdrew his hand, reaching up instead to adjust the strip of damp cloth he had laid over his forehead. His eyes were wide and unfocused as he gazed at the captain’s son and struggled to straighten up. “You…”

Yixing took advantage of the prince’s grogginess to carefully bind up his wounds from the lashing, tucking the ends tightly. He worked as fast as he could, releasing one of the man’s wrists from its binds and tearing another strip of fabric from his shirt to wrap the injured wrist in.

The sudden ripping sound seemed to have snapped the prince out of his daze and he lunged, thrashing around to try and get free but Yixing held tight, his lips pressed together in concentration as he struggled to keep the prince under control. The healer’s strength seemed to surprise the man as he collapsed against the mast when Yixing flipped him around onto his back.

“I want to go home.” Yixing could feel his heart breaking for the prince when he heard him break down sobbing like a small child. He carefully undid the ropes on his other wrist and covered it in another strip of torn shirt fabric. The prince was too distracted to even notice as he retied the restraints.

“I want my father.” Yixing’s heart clenched in sympathy and he lifted a hand to rest against the prince’s face. The cool liquid of his tears ran from his eyes and over the healer’s hand as the young man raised his head to stare at him.

“Let me go,” he whispered as Yixing brushed his fingers across his cheek, tenderly wiping his tears. The healer shifted uneasily and, unsure of what to do, he opened his mouth and sang.

_一次争吵 一个心结 累积著改变_  
内心疏远 足够秒杀 外表多浓烈  
才发现爱 不代表一切  
再真心 也会被阻绝  
这世界 天天有诡雷 随时会爆裂  
还是学不会 少浪漫一点  
拼命著想的事 未必带来感动 或被感谢  
还是学不会 解释我最伤 最累  
痛死都不愿 怪谁  
Every fight, every cliff between us all add up to change.  
We’re more distant in our heart,  
More than enough to cover our passion on the surface.  
No matter how sincere, rejections still occur.  
This world has traps everywhere and can blow up at any time.  
I still cannot learn to be less romantic.  
Something that I planned so long  
Might not move you or cause you to be thankful.  
I still cannot learn to explain that I’m the most hurt, most tired.  
Even if I die of pain, I do not want to blame others.  
Memories of his broken past rushed through him as the words of the bittersweet song poured out of him in a rush of emotion and he found the tears he had not shed in two years slipping from his tear ducts and down his face. He forgot the prince still bound to the mast, forgot the gentle rocking of the ship beneath his feet as his mind travelled back, a million miles an hour back to his childhood.

_“Mama!”_

_The woman’s smile was radiant as she swept the little boy into her arms. The faint scent of water lilies and roses filled his nostrils as the boy buried his nose into the nape of her neck._

_“Papa home?” the boy asked sweetly and the woman’s smile widened. She tugged her son up to her eye level and just looked at him for a moment._

_“Your father’s home!” she trilled, attracting several amused looks from passersby as they danced down the street towards home._

_Home was a little blue cottage close to the harbour away from the busy streets of their little town. The roof was covered with sea coloured shingles and the door painted a pretty robin’s egg blue._

_There was a man, perhaps in his twenties, who stood at the door, arms outstretched as the little boy squirmed out of his mother’s arms and dashed right at him._

_“Papa!”_

_The man’s face lit up as he swung his beloved son around in a circle before pulling him close. The little boy leaned up, smacking a big wet kiss on his father’s cheek and the man laughed in delight, looking down at his son fondly._

A soft moan snapped Yixing out of his nostalgia and he turned to face the prince who was watching him with glazed eyes. The blonde prince strained weakly against his bonds before collapsing back, sweat glistening at his hairline. Worry broke through the healer as he pressed a hand against the prince’s forehead, feeling the heat that exuded from his skin.

Yixing dampened the cloth again and set it over the prince’s forehead in hopes of drawing out even a little bit of his fever. He hurried away to the kitchen and quickly filled a small bowl with cold water. The prince did not move even as he raised the bowl to his cracked lips, trying to coax him to drink.

As the liquid trickled between his lips, the prince stirred slightly, eyes flying open in surprise. He retched violently, his body rejecting the water. His chest heaved and he coughed and spluttered, flapping his wrists weakly. Yixing pulled away immediately, worried that he would choke to death. The golden-haired man lifted his chin, the moonlight shining onto the bare column of his throat as he swallowed, trying to soothe his throat.

“Easy,” the healer whispered, stroking a hand along the prince’s shoulder before lifting the bowl again. Again, the prince choked on the water, his body too weak to respond. He gazed back at the captain’s son with pleading eyes as he spat out the liquid, his throat so parched and dry. Thinking quickly, Yixing tore another strip from his shirt, mindful of what his father would do to him for ruining his clothes. He dipped the cloth into the remaining water, soaking it through before pressing it between the prince’s lips.

The prince seemed to understand as he began to suck weakly at the cloth, cool liquid finally trickling down his throat and into his system. Yixing fed him like that, slowly and patiently until all of the liquid was gone. The prince laid his head back onto the mast and closed his eyes, looking absolutely exhausted.

The healer carefully rewetted the strip of cloth that had already dried from his body heat and placed it back over his forehead. The prince hardly blinked an eye at his actions. Yixing checked the bandages once more before walking away, heart rate beginning to speed up at thought of what his father would do to him in the morning.

 

 

学不会 

Yifan could scarcely lift his head; it was so heavy. The wet cloth the captain’s son had left on his forehead had dried out quickly, leaving the cloth sitting dry and scratchy against his delicate skin. He was still sweating, beads of perspiration dripping from his hairline and running down his back.

The prince winced every time he moved slightly, causing droplets of sweat to drip onto his bandages and soak into the wounds. His lips were drying out again as he laid his head back onto the mast, feeling woozy. He could feel the sea breeze that was refreshingly cold on his hot skin and that helped him keep his senses.

He was falling asleep again as the sun heated up and the crew members started to move around the deck when he heard a commotion. His eyes fluttered open and for a moment, he did not understand the scene before him. The captain's son was kneeling on the wooden deck, pinned down by the other pirates.

The captain’s face was mutinous as he stood at the head of the ship gazing down at the crew as they held his son down. The young man barely resisted, going easily despite the look of terror on his face.

“What shall we do with him, Capt’n?” a burly man with a long beard called out as he crushed the poor man’s arm beneath his weight. Yifan stole a glance at the captain again, disgusted to see a smile crack his face as he reached for the cat ‘o nine tails that had not been put away from the day before.

The prince may have been exhausted and his mind may have been clouded by fever, but he was alert enough to see the smaller man’s face pale even more and he strained against the rest of the crew, the muscles underneath his thin shirt tensing and bulging as he tried to escape.

“Father…” The plea was so soft that Yifan barely heard him but he heard the crack of the whip and the scream of pain that tore from the man’s throat. Through bodies of crew men cheering, the prince could see an ugly red slash across the young man’s cheek and his pale hand rising to cover his face in shock.

“Strip him.”

Yifan cried out but his protests were lost in the roars of approval as the men swarmed the captain’s son, eager to get their hands on that creamy skin. The ship was a cacophony of noise as the men’s greedy hands ripped at thin fabric and grabbed at pale skin like hungry wolves going in for the kill.

The captain stood calmly aside and watched with a passive face as his men tore off the clothes of who must be his only son like animals. The prince roared, feeling fury travelling like fire under his skin and he thrashed futilely against his restraints, feeling the ropes dig once more into his bandaged wrists.

_How?_ He wondered as he fought against his bonds. _How could a father even allow such a thing to happen to his child, much less order it?_ With a chill, Yifan thought of his own father, who was his best friend and protector, who would rather die than allow such terrible things to happen to his son.

The noise around him died abruptly and the men stood aside as their captain stepped forward, whip held proudly in his hands. The young man stood in the centre of the circle, stripped down to nothing but bare skin, arms pulled roughly at his sides with two men holding him upright.

His dark hair hung in his eyes as he kept his eyes down. Yifan’s lips parted to protest, to say anything but as if he had sensed it, the man raised his head, dark eyes sending a warning look towards the prince, right before his father raised a hand and struck him across the cheek, exactly where he had been lashed with the whip just moments prior.

The scream that left his mouth was a sound of pure agony but the men around him laughed as if he had told a joke, revelling in his misery. Yifan felt rage burn deeply within him and opened his mouth once more but the captain spoke first, voice deep and cruel, sending chills down the prince’s spine.

“You have disobeyed my orders. Do you deny that?”

The young man shook his head and his father made a gesture. With a sharp kick, he was forced onto his knees and then his chest pressed forward against the rough wood of the deck. Yifan bit back a cry when he noticed the many healed scars across his bare back, showing that he had been whipped, perhaps many times before. The whip was raised high into the air, its nine tails whistling as it was brought down hard across the young man’s scarred back.

Red bloomed across his flesh, the skin tearing upon contact. Crimson red blood filled in the cracks almost immediately, a stark contrast against his pale skin. The young man howled, chest arching off the floor and was quickly shoved back down. The whip cracked again and he screamed this time, the cotton tails slashing like knives across open wounds and digging deeper. Yifan squeezed his eyes shut, feeling guilt flood his chest. If the man had not helped him, he would not be punished like that. Yifan did everything he could to block out the man’s desperate, agonised screams as the whip struck him again and again, slicing into his flesh.

A sob tore itself out of his throat in relief and fear when the screaming stopped but when he reopened his eyes, he could not stop the gasp of absolute horror. The metallic tang of blood filled the air and Yifan’s stomach clenched and rolled and he felt nauseous. The other young man’s back was a bloody mess, blood trickling from the terrible wounds and soaking into the wooden boards.

The man was lying motionless on the floor, breathing shallow as a large hand pinned him down by the back of his neck. The captain was on the floor next to him, face grim as one of his men brought over a bucket. At his command, the bucket was tipped upside down over his wounded back.

An animalistic scream filled the air as the young man jerked his head up, body writhing and fighting the holds on him. He convulsed wildly, eyes glazed over with pain as he clawed at the wooden deck. Yifan could see the wood split and dig itself into his flesh.

Another crew member brought over a towel and the captain laid it over his son almost tenderly, dark eyes unreadable. Yifan was stunned to see a flash of regret cross his face as he rose to his feet that was quickly replaced by authority. The crew seemed to know exactly what to do after, most of them shuffling away to go about their routines and two others carefully picking the young man lying on the floor up, carrying him away to god knows where.

The captain watched them go before turning away to glare at Yifan. Fear bubbled beneath the prince’s skin as he forced himself to maintain eye contact, but the captain turned and stalked away after a moment, boot heels clicking on the deck.

 

 

学不会 

Yixing pressed his face into the cotton sheets, swallowing desperately to hold in his cries. The sheets were rough and smelled like sea water and nothing like home. His father had left him alone in his tiny cabin to recover from the lashing.

The healer bit back another scream that threatened to rip out of his throat as he straightened himself up, reaching for the brandy he had stolen away from the kitchen in preparation for this. There were cotton balls stuffed away in his drawer that he carefully dripped the alcohol on to.

The reek of alcohol mixed with the smell of his own blood was overpowering and Yixing had to pinch himself several times to keep from passing out. It was a difficult job, getting the alcohol onto the cotton ball without spilling it all over the place with how much his hands were shaking. He was pretty sure he still got some of the liquid onto his sheets despite how careful he was being.

Yixing reached behind him, gasping out a shuddering breath when the position moved his back in a way that caused his wounds to shift. His vision blurred slightly and he let his hands drop back down to let himself breathe. It was agonizingly painful. More than he remembered.

The healer could taste blood in his mouth as he twisted his body so that he could get at the bloody gashes across his back, having bitten open his lower lip. The metallic tang in his mouth brought back more memories from when he was younger and so sick that he could hardly rise from his bed…

_The little boy looked so tiny in the massive bed meant for two adults, covered up to his chin in blankets, yet he was still shivering violently, lips blue with cold._

_“He's getting worse,” the woman kneeling by the bedside whispered and the man on the other side lifted his head, eyes dark with exhaustion and worry. He smoothed a hand across his son’s chestnut curls and the boy leaned into his touch automatically._

_“Papa c…cold,” he whispered weakly and the man’s heart clenched in sympathy. He tugged the covers higher and tucked them tighter around his son and watched as the boy’s eyelids fluttered in an effort to open._

_“You will get better, Xing Xing,” he whispered, holding the boy closer to him and pressing a tender kiss on his forehead. His son cuddled deeper into him and the man and his wife watched as their son fell into a restless sleep._

_“The doctor says that he has done everything,” the woman murmured, tears filling her eyes as her husband set their son back onto the bed, meticulously tucking the blankets back around the child._

_“Well he's not getting better. If this is his best, it's not good enough.” The man's eyes were stony and grim. “I pay him to heal my child. If he cannot, I will find another. There has to be someone who can help him.”_

_The woman sniffled and the man wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He kissed the top of her head and glanced back at their sick child._

_“I will find another doctor. He will be fine, my love,” he whispered, the promise burning fiercely in his heart. His son would not die. He would not let Death steal his precious son from him._

_“Papa!” In his sleep, the little boy stirred and cried out for his father. He was in pain, his limbs feeling as if they were on fire. His skin was hot to the touch, sweat dripping from his hairline and soaking into the bedspread. He twisted and writhed under the covers, plagued by both nightmares and the agony that travelled beneath his skin. His father kept vigil at his side, heart breaking again and again as he watched his son suffer._

_Too long later, he finally settled, tears glittering on his lashes, slipping away into a dreamless sleep. The man leant forward and pulled his son close, pressing a kiss onto his sweaty brow._

_“I'm sorry my son. But I will make you better. I promise.”_

Yixing grimaced in pain as he propped himself up, sweat trickling down his forehead. He could still feel the phantom kiss on his brow as he struggled to bring himself to a sitting position. The clock on his nightstand told him that dinner would be served shortly, meaning that he must have fallen asleep somehow.

He bit back a cry of surprise when the towel across his back peeled off, sticky with blood. With shaking hands he reapplied the alcohol and carefully wrapped his torso in a bandage before pulling on a shirt and pants.

Dinner was a rowdy affair as Yixing stole away from the table with his food, hoping to conceal part of his meal for the prince who had to be starving. He hoped that his father would at least have been merciful enough to give him some water.

The healer broke a hard loaf in half and tucked it into his pocket before filling a handkerchief with some of the hard anzec biscuits. They were not much but were enough to ensure that the prince did not starve. Yixing carefully poured out some of the brandy into a small cup and stuffed more cotton balls into his other pocket before starting his meal.

It was a difficult task, trying to pretend he was asleep that night when he heard his cabin door open and his father's heavy footsteps travel closer and closer to his tiny pallet. The healer steadied his breathing and kept his eyes closed tight, hoping and praying that the captain would not notice that his pockets seemed extra full.

Luck seemed to be with him as the captain left his side after resting a hand against his forehead as if to check for a fever. Yixing lay in bed for a moment longer, trying to force down the thickness in his throat and the tears that had filled his eyes suddenly at the familiar gesture. He missed his father desperately; the old one who loved him unconditionally and would never have allowed any of this to happen to him.

He heard one last door close down the hall and forced himself to wait a little longer before getting up, telling himself that the prince could wait a little longer.

The prince was asleep when he finally plucked up the courage to leave his cabin and go up to the deck. Yixing stopped for a moment to admire him before reaching out a reluctant hand to shake him awake.

The prince woke easily, amber eyes shooting open to stare at him in sleepy surprise. His eyes widened as he took in the healer standing before him, shirtless.

Yixing was grateful for the manual labor he had done for the six years of his life on a ship as the prince’s eyes raked up and down his body. “Hi,” he whispered shyly, stepping closer.

 

 

学不会 

  
“Hi.”

Yifan’s eyes travelled up and down the young man’s body, surveying the damage. To say that he was shocked was an understatement; the captain’s son had only just been punished that morning and he was already on his feet, albeit a little shaky. But one full day had passed and the prince had still yet to recover fully from his lashing. Strains of fever still lingered within his body, clouding his mind and possibly his judgement. His wounds have yet to become infected but they felt swollen and warm, not a good sign.

“How are you standing?” The words had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. The young man cocked his head and gave him a wry smile.

“I'm standing,” he said, by way of an answer as he slipped a hand into his pocket. Yifan’s mouth watered when he pulled out a handkerchief and unwrapped it, displaying three hard cookies inside.

“I'm sure this is nothing like the fine fare you are used to, Your Highness and I apologize. But this is all I could save of my meal.”

“Don't call me that,” Yifan snapped. The title was like a slap in the face, almost mocking. He felt bad, but only a little when the man flinched at his harsh tone.

He shifted about in his bonds slightly, the man's hurt face unnerving him. _A pirate should never look so vulnerable,_ he thought as the man hovered a few meters away, as if unsure if he should approach.

They surveyed each other like that for a few moments, the silence stretching out. Yifan thought the man looked almost ethereal, with the moonlight reflecting off his pale skin and his dark hair falling into his eyes. With the delirium from his fever still lingering, he could almost imagine the man as an angel.

“Call me Yifan.” The prince sighed and beckoned the man forward as much as he could with his limited movement. A small smile of relief spread across the man’s face and Yifan silently cursed when his heart actually skipped a beat at the tiny dimple that indented in the man’s left cheek.

“I'm Zhang Yixing.”

_How fitting,_ Yifan's slightly addled mind said, for the man’s skin seemed to glow softly in the light of the full moon. Yixing approached hesitantly, lifting one of the biscuits up to the prince’s lips. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, Yifan took a hesitant bite out of the cookie. Or tried to at least because the dough seemed as hard as a rock and all he got in his mouth were some tiny crumbs that gritted on his tongue and tasted like nothing.

He bit back a curse at how hungry he was and attempted to take another bite. Yixing was incredibly patient, keeping his hand steady as he waited for Yifan to get a good sized bite. But the prince was getting more and more frustrated with himself as he tried to get even a little piece of the biscuit.

“Here.” Yixing lifted a small canteen full of water for the prince and Yifan drank gratefully. The tiny pieces of the cookie he managed to get were extremely dry and hurt his throat as he tried to swallow. The prince watched curiously as the captain’s son poured some strange liquid out into a bowl and set the biscuit into it before pulling some bread out of his other pocket.

“Eat this first, while the biscuit soaks.” Yixing broke off a small piece of bread and fed it into the prince’s mouth. The texture of the bread was funny, hard yet crunchy so very unlike the soft rolls the prince loved. He could taste sea salt on the bread but nothing else, which was odd to him, having only had sweet loaves in his entire life.

“Is all of your food this bland?” he asked after swallowing the bread that had turned to mush in his mouth. The man looked surprised at the question and dropped his head to stare at the bread in his hand.

“Perhaps? I haven’t had soft bread in a long time.”

Yifan was once again struck by how different their lives were. He himself had soft rolls at dinner every night, slathered with butter and honey.

After he had consumed all of the bread, the captain’s son gave him another drink of water before taking the now soggy biscuit out of the liquid that the prince could now identify as some sort of alcohol as the smell swept over him. Yifan wrinkled his nose slightly at the smell but opened his mouth to accept the biscuit. He ate the rest of the biscuits that way, soggy and soaked thoroughly in brandy.

As he finished up, a calloused hand smoothed itself over his forehead, startling him. His heart tripped, his breathing stuttering when he jerked his head up in surprise, eyes locking onto Yixing's. He swallowed the rest of the biscuit, suddenly wishing for some water as his mouth went dry.

He could not identify the look in the other man’s eyes as slender fingers traced its way along the planes of his face almost tenderly. He was reminded very vividly of his last lover who had left him for another and his eyes filled with sudden tears.

“Let me see your wounds.” The captain's son dropped his eyes quickly and reached for the prince’s arm. Yifan forced back his tears and tensed, ready to rip himself free. Yixing seemed to have sensed his intentions for he quickly released him, brows furrowing.

“Do not try anything, Your Highness. There is nowhere for you to go and should I raise the alarm, you will be outnumbered.”

“You? Raise the alarm? Do not pull my leg. I do not believe you have the guts to do so when you will be punished for helping me,” Yifan snorted, trying to rile the man up, whatever feelings he seemed to have for this strange man dissipating immediately. He was surprised to see the man flinch back instead of getting angry like he had hoped.

A man who was angry could be reckless and careless and Yifan could use that to his advantage. But the man’s face was creased with hurt and the prince could feel his heart quavering, threatening to give as he turned his head away.

The silence stretched out between them as the man stepped forward, teeth showing as he chewed at his plump bottom lip. Yifan's mind screamed at him to apologize for seeming ungrateful as the captain's son carefully unbound one of his wrists, keeping his head down as if ashamed.

The injured wrist was purple and red, with veins of blood beading on the surface from where they had dug in that morning. There was a fist squeezing around Yifan's heart when he felt the man press his lips to the injury before reaching for the bottle of brandy that he had set out.

The alcohol stung badly as the healer carefully dabbed at the open skin. Yifan had to will himself to look away as his wrist was rebound into fabric and the rope reattached, albeit looser than before.

 

 

学不会

Yixing could feel his cheeks grow hot as the prince spat out the words venomously. _How had he known?_ he wondered, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he approached the prince cautiously. The healer suddenly felt very exposed, as transparent as glass and he wrapped his arms around himself as if to shield himself from the prince’s view.

Despite the prince’s request that he be called by his name, the words would not pass Yixing’s lips. It was as if there was a blockage in his throat forcing the words back. He untied the prince’s wrist silently, turning his attention to the man’s injuries instead of dwelling on his words.

He winced internally as the cloth fell away to reveal a purplish ring that ran around the prince’s wrist with deep cuts where blood was already welling from.

_The ropes are too tight._ He thought as he instinctively lifted the pale wrist to his lips and pressed a kiss onto it like the way his father used to when he was a child.

As he dabbed alcohol onto the painful cuts, he could feel the prince’s grimace even though the man kept his face away from him. Yixing felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to wrap the prince up in his arms and protect him from the rest of the world. He kept silent however, and carefully retied the fabric around the injured wrist before binding the prince up again, keeping the rope tight enough that he would not be able to get free but with enough give so that it would not dig into delicate skin if he thrashed too hard.

“I… I'm sorry.” The soft, defeated whisper made the captain’s son look up in surprise. His dark eyes flickered towards the prince who still had his face turned away. Yixing swallowed back the lump that formed in his throat when to his astonishment, a silvery tear slid down the prince’s face. “I… I just want to go home.”

A fist squeezed around Yixing’s heart and he stepped forward, calloused fingers brushing tenderly against the skin beneath the prince’s eyes to wipe away another tear that had escaped. The prince looked so frightened that the healer could not fault him for crying.

_愛上你的時候還不懂感情_  
離別了才覺得刻骨銘心  
為什麼沒有發現遇見了你  
是生命最好的事情

_也許當時忙著微笑和哭泣_  
忙著追逐天空中的流星  
人理所當然的忘記  
是誰風裏雨裏一直默默守護在原地

_When I fell for you I didn’t understand love_  
Only in farewell did I know how deeply imprinted it was  
Why did I not realize having met you  
Was the best thing that happened in my life

_Perhaps I was too busy smiling and crying  
Busy chasing the shooting stars in the skies  
People naturally forget  
The one who silently stood by us in face of the winds and rain_

//

Yifan stared as a dimple indented itself deeply into the cheek of the captain’s son, whose pink lips opened and the most beautiful sound poured forth. He could not take his eyes off the man as slender fingers brushed away his tears.

The night air was filled with the other man’s song and the melody seemed vaguely familiar to the prince as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to imagine that he was back in the palace, back home as a child again. His mother would tuck the covers up to his chin and sing him a good night song over and over again until he fell asleep. His father would stand by the door and smile.

He remembered that there was a period in his life when he was younger that he feared sleeping alone in his dark room even when his mother assured him that her songs would keep away the demons and evil spirits.

_“But I'm afraid of the pirates! What if they come and…and take me away? And I never see Mama and Papa again?” A gentle hand smoothed tenderly over his hair as his mother tried to kiss away his tears._

_"There are no pirates, little one. Father will protect you.”_

_The King knelt at Yifan’s bedside, trying to soothe his son’s fears. Little Yifan shook his head vehemently, golden hair falling into his eyes as he gripped at his father’s sleeve with tears quivering on the ends of his lashes._

_“Papa must stay. Papa will keep the Pirates away,” he said._

_The king and queen exchanged glances, the queen letting out a sigh before nodding. Yifan felt her lips press against his forehead before she stepped away from him to kiss her husband goodnight._

_After his mother had gone, Yifan made grabby hands towards his father, who would sit by his side and sing. He sang differently from his mother, his voice deeper and soothing to the little prince. Instead of telling stories of great adventure like the queen did, the king would sing of home, lullabies that Yifan always insisted his father sang better._

_The prince would fall asleep to his father’s voice reverberating throughout the room, sure and safe that his father would always protect him from those nasty pirates, tales of which his nursemaid used to scare him._

Now his worst nightmare of being captured by pirates had come true. He bit back a quiet sob as the last notes of the song trailed away into the night.

The captain’s son smiled kindly at him and his heart soothed slightly. At least he was fortunate enough to meet Yixing, who was more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen in the royal court and had a voice as sweet as a nightingale.

Yixing glanced out at the horizon and back at the prince.

“Get some rest, milord. It's been a hard day for all of us.” His hand was gentle as it caressed across his face where the captain had struck him the day before. The prince winced softly when his fingers brushed across the purple bruise that had formed there.

“Have a good night, Yi…Yifan. I'll see you in the morning.”

Yifan had to hold back a smile when he heard the young man stumble over his name and bow slightly.

“Good night, Yixing,” he breathed as the captain’s son slipped away, presumably back to his cabin.

 

 

学不会 

  
The next few days that passed were uneventful as the pirates went about their usual activities, ignoring the prince tied to their mast. Still, to be safe, Yixing only visited the prince when the sun had set well below the horizon and everyone was sleeping in their cabins below.

He always brought food in the form of hard breads and biscuits but there was the occasional fish that the crew may have caught that day that he saved for the prince. Yifan grew fond of the captain’s son as his wounds were well tended to and the redness and swelling slowly disappeared.

They talked a lot, always in soft whispers. Yifan would, at Yixing’s request, describe the palace he lived in, the food he ate and his activities in as vivid detail as he possibly could. Yixing would sing for him, old songs that he learnt from his childhood and new ones that he caught on from his limited time on land. The captain’s son was very secretive about his past, even when Yifan tried to push him for information, especially about his mother.

 

It was only grey clouds in the distance at first, easily overlooked by an inexperienced sailor. But the captain’s face was grim as he surveyed the horizon. Yifan had overheard some of the crew whispering about how close they were to land the day before and he was both terrified and hopeful. The ransom letter for his father had already been written and would be sent off when they port but it seemed that a storm could possibly delay their arrival.

He watched as the captain called for someone to release the sails slightly as the wind picked up, tousling the prince’s hair. By late afternoon the grey clouds were a lot closer, darker and more ominous looking. Yixing's face was pale as he moved to stand near Yifan, his hand going to grip at the ropes tied around the mast.

The winds were getting stronger, whipping the brunette’s hair around his head. The ship rocked violently in the water and Yifan’s heart clenched in terror. “It's going to be a bad storm.” He heard Yixing whisper under his breath and his blood seemed to freeze.

The captain’s son fiddled with the ropes on the sails as he awaited his father's command. The men were all over the deck, securing down large items that could fly across the deck and cause injuries. A small droplet of water fell onto Yifan’s skin and he looked up.

The sky was practically black as the storm clouds released the rain. Rain drops splattered onto the ship, starting in trickles and getting louder and faster until they fell in sheets, blinding Yifan. The waves rose high and crashed down hard, jolting the ship violently. Yifan’s heart nearly flew out of his throat when a flash of lightning lit up the world, followed closely by a deafening crash of thunder.

A wave splashed over the edge of the ship, dousing them with salt water and Yifan’s stomach dropped when the ship shook again, creaking. The rain was so loud that he could barely hear as the captain yelled for his men to get into position. He turned to his head to look for Yixing who was still standing next to him, adjusting the sails, face grim. His hair was matted to his forehead and his white shirt had gone translucent.

A large wave rose up in front of the ship and smashed like a fist, straight against the prow, sending the ship jolting backwards. Yifan felt as if he would empty the contents of his stomach all over the deck when another wave cracked against the hull, the ship shaking hard. There was another flash of lightning and an even louder crash of thunder that had the men scrambling for cover. Gasping, Yixing snatched at the drenched ropes to tighten the sails as a gust of wind swept them forward. His fingers flew as he wrenched the ropes back with his weight, the sails snapping taut as in his anxiety, he lost control of his strength.

Yifan screamed in terror when the boat heeled in the water, threatening to tip forward into the ocean. Cold sweat dripped down Yixing’s back and neck even as the rain pelted at his face. He was nearly sobbing as he struggled to loosen the ropes, terror racing through him as the ship careened forward, the prow nearly touching the surface of the water when a large wave tossed them forward.

Past the roar in his ears, Yifan heard a harsh snarl and Yixing’s frightened cry. He turned his head, trying to see past the rain falling in his eyes. His golden blond hair was flat against his head, beaten down by the rain as he watched the captain release the ropes, the sails billowing out to catch the wind. The ship tipped back to its original position and Yifan heaved a sigh of relief.

Yixing was shaking as the ship rocked violently, sea water splashing onto the deck. The captain roared at him, face twisted in fury.

“YIxing!” Yifan could not help the cry that escaped past his lips when the captain backhanded his son, sending the man flying across the deck. The prince’s heart jumped to his throat when the ship tipped and Yixing slid across the slippery boards, towards the opening at the base of the boards. He was sprawled out across, fingers grasping futilely at the wooden boards, a look of terror crossing his face when he found no traction.

The ship wobbled again and Yifan bit back a curse when Yixing screamed, his fingers barely grasping at the railing in time. The healer righted himself, face pale as a sheet, as the ship set itself upright again. Thunder boomed and he ducked when lightning flashed, electricity arcing across the heavens in a spectacular display of nature’s wrath.

Slowly, the waves reduced in size as they sailed out of reach of the thunderclouds. The men all heaved a sigh of relief when the rain gradually died to nothing and the sun beamed down at them, a welcome change from the freezing cold rain. As the crew men rushed to steady the ship and redo the sails, Yifan spotted the captain. His face was as black as the thunderclouds that they had just left behind. Yixing was pinned against the railing, his shirt collar clutched in his father’s angry hands. The prince could not hear the words being said but he presumed that they had be about Yixing’s error.

A resounding smack echoed across the deck and the prince flinched. The captain’s son was on the floor, tears streaming down his face as he cradled his cheek. The captain hissed something and he cringed away, struggling to his feet. He stumbled past Yifan with barely a glance in his direction and broke into a run towards the cabins.

Yifan’s heart cracked a little more for him.

 

 

学不会 

Yixing felt the ship jolt as the sides bumped gently against the harbor and sniffled quietly. His eyelashes were sticky and there were dried tear tracks on his face. He wrapped the blanket more securely around himself and buried his nose into the fabric.

As a result of his mistake, he was forbidden from leaving the ship to go ashore with the rest of the crew. Instead, he was relegated to babysitting duty. Babysitting the ship and the captive prince. He was sure there would be more punishment coming his way after they had set sail again and a shudder ran through him at the thought of facing his irate father wielding a cat o’ nine tails.

He could only hope that the trip onto land to deliver the ransom letter for the king would help soothe the captain’s distemper.

They would not be remaining in port for too long as they had a prisoner on board and staying in one place for too long would be very risky. Yixing crawled out of bed, moving towards the small broken mirror set on his desk.

He looked an absolute mess with part of his hair curling up and others flat against his skull, a result of him sleeping with wet hair. His shirt was rumpled and still slightly damp, his eyes red and swollen from crying. Grimacing at the way he looked, the captain’s son dragged himself out of bed and wandered off onto the deck.

He found the ship empty of people, except for the still bound prince who seemed to be asleep. Feeling slightly relieved, he hurried back to his cabin to dig out fresh clothes and picked up the bucket that the pirate crew used to wash themselves, whenever they bothered to. The little bar of soap that the captain had bought from their previous port was still inside the bucket, slimy and slippery in his hand as he pulled it out.

Yifan’s eyes fluttered open slowly when he heard movement on the deck. He could see Yixing’s slim figure silhouetted against the afternoon sun as he busied himself with a bucket and a coil of rope. His eyes widened when the captain’s son tossed the bucket into the sea easily, a loud splash telling him that the bucket had struck the surface of the water. He could not tear his eyes away from the younger man’s bulging biceps as he hauled the bucket, now full of water back onto the deck.

The prince’s pupils dilated when Yixing reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, revealing a toned chest and six pack abs. He swallowed and cleared his throat, the noise startling the healer.

Yixing resisted the urge to wrap his arms around himself when he looked up to the sound of a throat clearing to meet the prince’s amber eyes. Those piercing eyes travelled down the length of his body and a pink tongue darted out to moisten his lips.

“You’re… You’re awake, Your Highness.” The healer stuttered and the prince seemed to snap out of his daze, bringing his eyes back up from where he was staring at where the elastic band of Yixing’s boxers peeked out from slightly above his pants. He nodded wordlessly and Yixing bit his lip.

  
“Could… Could you not look, Your Highness? I wish to bathe myself.” His cheeks reddened and the prince flushed as well.

“Of… Of course.” Yifan mumbled, closing his eyes. He turned his head slightly so that Yixing would not be in his direct line of sight and the healer tugged his pants off. The prince caught the movement in his periphery vision and he gritted his teeth, biting back a whimper. Yixing looked hot.

Yixing had never washed himself as fast as he had done in that moment. It was painfully awkward as he dropped the soap into the empty bucket and pulled on his clothes. He avoided meeting the prince’s eyes as he returned the bucket to its original position and dumped his dirty clothes back into his cabin.

“Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you have gone with the rest of the crew?” Yifan tried to smooth over the awkward tension. He knew immediately that he had said the wrong thing for the younger’s expression darkened and a mask seemed to fall over his face.

“I’m not permitted to leave the ship.” The captain’s son muttered darkly and his arms folded across his chest. He looked so guarded that Yifan slapped himself internally.

“Why do you put up with him?” The prince asked instead, curiosity taking over him. As far as he knew, the man in front of him was of legal age and was allowed to go as he pleased.

“Why didn’t you just leave him if you disapprove of him pirating?”

Yixing’s guarded mask cracked and the man faltered at the question, his eyes taking on a faraway sheen as if he was a million miles away. Yifan wondered what he was thinking of.

_“Mama!” The teen buried his face into the crook of his mother’s neck, sobbing. His father stood at his side, his face full of frustration and sadness. The woman lying in the bed was as pale as a sheet, sweat dripping down her face as she strained for air. The doctor had been sent away in his father’s anger._

_She was dying. Yixing knew that in his heart as he laid beside her, holding her limp hand in his own, hoping and praying for a miracle._

_It was malaria. The doctors had said. And the medicine to cure it was too expensive for them to afford with his father’s business failing. Three of his five ships had been lost at sea and one of his most trusted friends had made off with nearly half of his life savings. His father’s smile had been strained around the edges every time he got home and now his mother was dying._

_His mother was dying. The thought alone sent sobs wracking through the young boy’s body as he curled up beside her. His father had left the house to beg for anyone to help save her but all of his friends had deserted him after his business started failing. Now they were helpless as they watched the woman they loved struggle through her last few painful moments._

_“Yixing.” His father’s voice cracked as his mother fell silent, her last breath rattling through her. “Come away.”_

_Yixing sobbed and shook his head, pressing his face into the sheets._

_“Come away!” The yell frightened him and he curled even more into his mother’s body. Strong hands gripped his shoulders and pried him off even as he struggled and screamed._

_“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Yixing heard his father whisper as he held him in his arms. He felt something wet fall onto his head and realized that he, his big, strong father, was crying. He cuddled into him, draping his arms around his father’s neck._

_“Don’t c…cry, Dad. Don’t…Or…Or I won’t st…stop.” He whispered, stuttering as he pressed a kiss to his father’s cheek. The man dropped his chin over his son’s shoulder and Yixing could feel him shuddering against him as he tried to stifle his cries._

_“We’ll be okay, Dad. We’ll be okay.” The young boy found himself trying to assure his father as they clung to each other. They would make it. They had to._

 

 

学不会

 

“Yixing? Yixing?” Yifan called and the younger man’s eyes flew to him. The veil seemed to lift from his eyes and he looked slightly startled.

“You didn’t answer my question.” The prince reminded him gently and Yixing’s eyes softened. He took a step towards the prince and Yifan was startled when he lifted a hand to cup his cheek.

“Silly prince. Who would take care of you if I left?” The tender smile on Yixing’s face could almost cover up the sadness in his eyes. Almost. Still, the remark made Yifan’s face heat up and the younger moved closer, tipping his head up to look into the prince’s eyes.

Yifan exhaled softly when their lips brushed against each other's and he strained against his restraints, wanting to pull the other man in closer. Yixing seemed to sense his impatience and he pressed closer against the prince's front, deepening the kiss as he grasped at the prince's hair to ground himself.

Yifan growled softly under his breath as Yixing took over the kiss, pinning him in place as his tongue licked curiously into his mouth. The afternoon sun felt so hot all of a sudden when Yixing pulled away, his eyes darkened with lust and his lips all red and swollen.

"You're a good kisser." The prince gasped, unable to tear his eyes away from the healer's dark eyes. Yixing smirked and leaned forward, connecting their lips once more.

//

Kissing the prince had made him forget all about the punishment that he would receive when his father returned. So when one of the crew men came to fetch him from his cabin, Yixing thought nothing of it. Until he saw the whip in his father's hands.

Clearly the trip on land to deliver the ransom letter had not softened his father one bit. Yixing felt his cheeks burn as he was divested of his clothes once more and pushed onto the floor. He barely caught the prince's horrified gaze before the first lash of the whip landed, cotton cord tendrils splaying out across his back.

The pain was worse, much much worse than the last time as the lashes dug into newly healed scars, tearing them open once more. It was agonizing as the captain took his time dragging the whip over the exposed wounds. His back arched as he fought desperately against the rough hands holding him down.

Yifan turned his head away, not willing to see the agony and mutilation that was happening before him. The metallic smell of blood filled his nostrils once again and bile rose up in his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut. He could still hear him, hear Yixing’s tortured screams echo through the air even as the ship backed out of the harbour and headed towards open sea.

“Leave him.” The captain’s cold cruel voice cut through Yixing’s pained cries as he pulled back the whip, cotton cords streaked with red. Yifan whimpered weakly when he opened his eyes, thinking that it was over. He regretted it immediately when he saw the captain’s son sprawled out across the deck, unmoving.

His face was as pale as a sheet and sweat dripped from his forehead onto the wooden boards. The prince half feared that he was already gone but the captain gestured towards another man, this one slightly older than Yixing to fetch a bucket as the other crew members turned away to continue with their chores.

The man’s face was cold and his lips were twisted into a sadistic sneer as he tossed the bucket of salt water over the barely conscious man. The captain had already left the deck but as Yifan watched on in horror, the man drew his dagger from its sheath.

Yixing clearly heard the sound of metal against leather as he turned his head to face the man, fear flashing across his face. Yifan cried out when the dagger flashed in the sunlight and the tip dug into Yixing’s shoulder blade.

The younger man gasped out, trembling violently. He was in so much pain that he barely felt the dagger, only focused on the menace on the other man’s face.

“You do not deserve him.” The harsh voice whispered into his ear and he sobbed when the man dug the dagger deeper into his flesh.

“Zhi Qiang!” The dagger vanished immediately back into his sheath and the man rose, giving Yixing’s body a meaningful kick before walking away to search for the caller.

Yixing met Yifan’s eyes with a pained grimace as he struggled to get to his feet. He was still bleeding, crimson blood soaking into the wooden boards. His arms swung out as he tried to balance himself.

Yifan did not see him for several days after he managed to stagger back to his cabin, leaving a trail of blood behind him.

//

_“Papa? Where are we going?” The twelve year old boy asked curiously as his father’s grip on his hand tightened. They had packed up their leftover meager possessions and were headed down towards the harbour._

_His father did not answer, gaze focused on a particular ship. The ship was very inconspicuous as it flew no flag and it looked almost empty as it swayed gently in the dark blue waters of the sea._

_“Papa, ow!” The boy yanked his hand out of his father’s grip when he felt nails digging into his flesh. His father whirled around to face him._

_“Where are we going?” He asked, a trickle of frustration beginning within him. His father’s eyes were dark and there seemed to be a crease permanently indented between his brows. He looked angry and nothing like the gentle, tender man he had been before his wife’s death._

_“We will find no work here, in this blasted land. I've made contact with a pirate captain and he has allowed us to live and work on his ship.” The man’s voice was hushed and urgent as he picked up his son’s hand again, hustling him towards the ship._

_The boy’s blood ran cold and he stopped short, anger and betrayal exploding through him._

_“You promised Mama that you wouldn’t do anything illegal!” He cried, pulling away from his father when he tried to yank him onto the gangplank. There were people on the seemingly empty ship, high up in the crow’s nest watching._

_“Let me go! I won't go with you! You promised!” The boy screamed when his father grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the plank. He fought back, thrashing wildly to get back onto land. His father’s anger was palpatable as he hauled him up the plank._

_“You are my son! You will listen to me!” He hissed furiously and his son clawed at his shirt, trying to loosen the death grip his father had on his shirt._

_“I won't! I won't become the people that Mother despised! Let me go… Ah!”_

_The ground flew up to meet him, the left side of his face burning with pain. He landed hard on his side, winded. Shock rippled through him as he lay there, panting._

_His father had never hit him before. Even as a child, he had never been struck. The shock paralyzed him and his father took advantage of that, dragging him from the ground and practically throwing him onto the deck of the ship. His eyes burned dark with anger and something that struck fear into the boy’s heart._

_From then on, his father had never looked at him the way he did in his childhood again. And Yixing’s fear of his father began in that moment onwards._

 

//

Yifan only saw Yixing again three days and nights later. He looked terrible, face still pale from his blood loss as he scrubbed at the stains his blood had left in the deck. The chore was such a joke.

There was no way he would be able to get the stains out after they had been left to soak for three days and hand scrubbing only left him with splinters stabbed deep into his hands.

“Xing?” Yifan called softly and the younger raised his head to smile weakly at him. He wrung out the water in the cloth he was holding and dropped it into the bucket next to him.

Yixing wandered over to the prince, ignoring the stain on the floor. The ship rocked gently back and forth with the waves and a salty breeze blew across the sea. The stars twinkled prettily in the midnight blue sky and reminded him of stargazing nights with his parents.

“How are you?” Yifan asked and the brunette smoothed his fingers across the prince’s cheek, tipping his head up to kiss him. Yifan did not object, instead allowing him to lick softly into his mouth.

Zhi Qiang huffed in disgust from where he was hidden. He had suspected that Yixing had been sneaking out at night to see the prince but he had not known how close they had become.

Rightfully, he should tell the captain and let him deal with it but as he watched how tenderly the captain’s son handled the prince, he was sure that disaster would strike on its own without his intervention.

Smirking to himself, he slipped away silently back to his cabin.

Yifan sighed softly as Yixing nosed at the underside of his jaw, pressing soft kisses against his skin. He wanted desperately to touch him.

“My father… was a lord.” Yixing breathed as he pulled away. His gaze became faraway as Yifan watched and his words became softer, as if telling him a secret.

“We were happy… So very happy…” Tears glimmered in his eyes as he poured his heart out, laying bare his story. Yifan listened with a fist around his heart, feeling terrible for how they had suffered.

The story seemed to take everything out of Yixing as he leant against the prince’s body after the last word left his lips. Yifan inclined his head, letting their foreheads and noses touch.

The brunette’s face was wet with silent tears and he pressed his lips against Yifan’s in an effort to distract himself from the burning pain in his chest. The prince let him cry without a word, comforting him with tender kisses as the night passed.

//

Their relationship progressed quickly afterwards, Yixing sneaking out every night to steal kisses. Whispered words were exchanged and Yifan promised him that after his ordeal was over, he would find a way to free him from his father’s clutches.

Yixing clung on to that promise like a lifeline, hopeful that one day, he would be a free, legal man. Someone his mother and the father in his past would be proud of.

His heart felt as if it would burst with emotion when Yifan promised that they would be together even after the deal was over, the older man looking at him with adoring amber eyes.

He whispered the three words into the prince’s ears and his heart skipped a beat when he heard them back.

It was a glorious, beautiful time, the moments they spent together locked away and stored into Yixing’s mind and heart. He never did release Yifan’s bonds but the prince never seemed to mind that Yixing was the only one who was touching.

But alas, all good things have to come to an end.

 

 

学不会 

The captain was in a surprisingly cheerful mood that day as he surveyed his crew going about their chores. He had just received a letter from his correspondent on land that the prince’s ransom had arrived and was glad that he could be rid of the man so soon.

“Crew! I have some wonderful news to share!” He called out, the cheeriness in his voice startling his crew mates. They all stopped whatever they had been doing and looked up at him quizzically, wondering what had made the captain so happy that morning.

Yixing felt a prickle of unease run through him from where he stood near the mast, mop in hand. Yifan cocked his head curiously as the captain flashed a look in his direction.

“Our correspondent has sent out a letter to inform me that the prince’s ransom has arrived! And we shall dock tomorrow morning to collect it!” The deck erupted in cheers as the captain turned to face Yifan, a cruel smirk on his face.

“And of course, our dear prince shall be disposed of.” Yixing bit back a gasp but Yifan could not contain his outrage and fear.

“You bastard! You said you would let me go!” He yelled, anger coursing in his veins. His blood roared in his ears as he struggled against the coarse ropes that bound him. He was going to die.

The captain regarded him with an amused expression as he fingered his cutlass.

“Of course not. Your father has done me a great disfavor in the past. It would be a terrible pity if I let go of a chance to exact my revenge… On his beloved son. Looks like your kingdom will lose their only heir.” He slid his weapon into its sheath and smirked. Yifan cried out in fury and yanked at his bonds, the ropes digging deeply into his flesh, causing blood to trickle out of healed scars.

As the crew headed off to continue their work in much higher spirits, the prince turned his head to look in Yixing's direction.

The younger man stared back at him in disbelief. Clearly he had believed that his father would release the prince after the ransom had been paid as well.

“Xing…” Yifan sagged back against the mast, eyes pleading. He had to escape. Preferably that night. They would be close enough to land that he could swim for help. At least he thought he could.

Yixing looked away immediately. He knew what the prince would ask of him and he could not do it. His fear of his father outweighed anything else.

With shaking hands, he stowed away the mop and disappeared before Yifan could call after him. He needed some peace to quiet his mind.

//

Yifan did not expect to see Yixing on the deck after dinner that night when everyone had gone below to sleep. He was leaning against the railing, looking out towards the sea. The prince could see the dark outline of the land they were rapidly approaching against the night and the sight filled him with both fear and hope.

"Yixing?" He called softly and the brunette turned towards him, figure softly lit by moonlight.

The captain’s son walked towards him, expression unreadable. He cupped Yifan’s face in his hands and looked straight into his amber eyes as he pressed their mouths harshly together.

The kiss was hard, with nothing tender about it as Yixing deepened it, sliding his tongue into Yifan’s mouth despite the prince resisting slightly.

“Ow!” He only pulled away when Yifan nipped had hard on his bottom lip, nearly drawing blood.

“You have to help me.” The prince said and Yixing’s eyes dimmed as he swiped the back of his hand against his mouth.

“I don't have to do anything.” He answered, unable to meet the prince’s eyes. Yifan’s spine went rigid, fear translating into desperation as he lunged towards Yixing, crying out in pain when the ropes yanked him back.

“You're not like them, Yixing! You don't have to do this!” He pleaded as he watched the younger man step back, a mask of guilt sliding over his face.

"Can you even imagine what my father would do to me?” Yixing kept his eyes cast down. Guilt was like an iron fist around his heart, squeezing impossibly tight. He wanted to save him, but his own fear and cowardice was a monster that haunted him because he did not wish to be killed or cast off the ship.

There had once been a crew member who had betrayed his father’s previous crew and he remembered how viciously his father had hunted down that man, the only other man who had survived the aftermath of the Royal Navy’s cannons.

He remembered the amount of blood that had stained the rocks they had left the man to die, his dying moans and his last words, full of fear and resentment. He could never forget how the sea itself had turned red as he bled white and how quiet everything became after he breathed his last.

Every piece of that memory was a monster, sharp claws digging a permanent place inside his young mind.

Yifan's distraught face hurt him even more than the monsters did and all he wanted to do was to hold the prince in his arms but he was afraid. So afraid.

“You're a coward. You used me.” Yifan’s voice was harsh and it sliced through Yixing’s heart, leaving it raw and bleeding.

“No, never!” He found himself protesting even when his conscience started to hurt.

“Liar!” Yifan roared and he flinched. The prince's eyes burned with fury and desperation as he strained against his bonds. Yixing fought back a whimper and tried to pacify him, reaching out a hand to touch his cheek.

"Don't touch me!" Yixing yanked his hand away just in time when Yifan snapped at him.

"Yifan, please! You know I would but..." The younger’s voice trailed off when the prince twisted his head away from him and stared off into the distance.

A soft sob tore its way through Yixing’s throat and he slipped away to his cabin, weeping softly.

//

Daylight came too quickly for Yifan’s liking, fear mounting in his stomach as he watched the sky lighten and turn pink.

They were pulling into the harbour as soon as the sky turned blue, various men appearing out of their cabins to help dock and secure the ship. Long lines were secured and the captain gathered his men on the deck.

They would all be going on land that day except for Yixing, who would be left behind to watch over the ship and their prisoner. It was evident that the captain had not noticed the growing attraction between the two men or he would not have left his son on the ship.

The jobs were quickly divvied up between the men. Four men would be accompanying the captain to collect the ransom and the others would all go separately to get food and water supplies as well as equipment to fix up the ship in case of an emergency.

Yixing was sitting in the corner of the deck, coiling ropes at his feet with an eye on the prince. He would not have noticed the navy blue ship sailing into the harbour had Yifan not reacted.

“Papa! Papa!” The prince thrashed, screaming his lungs out. He had recognized his father’s personal ship.

“Papa, help me!” Yixing’s head jerked up and he froze when he saw the ship of the Royal Navy docked next to them.

A figure on the deck of the other ship was waving back.

“Yifan!” It was a man’s cry and Yifan could have sobbed with relief. He struggled against his bonds violently, screaming.

“Papa!” The king stood at the deck of the other ship, restrained by his own men. He would have dived straight into the sea had they not stopped them. He was haggard looking, stricken with grief but now his face was alight with hope and happiness as he called for his son.

Yixing’s heart clenched and he forced his eyes away from the father and son crying out for each other. His hands shook as he wrapped up the last coil of rope, his painful memories flooding back.

_“Papa!”_

_The man’s face lighting up as he swung his beloved son around in a circle before pulling him close. The little boy leaning up, smacking a big wet kiss on his father’s cheek and the man laughing in delight, looking down at his son fondly._

_“I'm sorry my son. But I will make you better. I promise.”_

_The sound of skin striking skin echoing in his ears and the sickening thud of his body hitting the earth._

Yixing fought down a sob when Yifan’s cries increased in volume. He glanced up and fear for the prince’s life exploded through him.

The pirate captain had seen the navy ship and his crew was racing back to the ship but they were weighed down by supplies and a trunk full of treasure.

Yixing glanced back in the prince’s direction. He could see men leaping from the navy blue ship and into the water. A life raft had been dispatched but he knew that they would be too late if he did not do something.

“Everything will be fine! We’re coming, my boy!” Yifan sobbed and pulled at the coarse ropes. Tears had started to run down his face. He too had seen the pirates running towards the ship.

_“We’ll be okay, Dad. Don't cry.”  
“I promise you. When I am free, I will come back for you. I will take you home and you won't ever have to suffer again.” The promise was whispered into his ear as he clung to the prince, face buried into the crook of his neck._

_“Thank you, Yifan. Thank you.”_

_“I love you.”_

_**I love you.** _

 

Yixing snatched up the gangplank, heaving it into the water as hard as he could. Hot tears boiled in his eyes as he stared at the plank floating away in the deep blue water.

He knew very well what could happen to him if he let Yifan escape. Desperation and guilt gnawed at his heart as he agonized.

“Papa!” Yifan’s desperate wail tore through the last remnant of reluctance he had and the knife at his belt was drawn and the ropes binding Yifan to the mast falling away before the prince could utter another sound.

"Come.” Yixing grabbed the prince’s arm and dragged him towards the railing. Yifan was looking at him in shock, mouth open as if he was about to say something.

“I hope you know how to swim.” The brunette’s smile was faint as he gestured to the side of the ship.

“Huh… but… what about you?” The prince asked and Yixing’s smile wavered.

“I don't think your father would appreciate having a pirate captain’s son on board.” He answered, grabbing the prince’s collar.

“Yixing wait-“ Yifan did not get to finish his sentence before Yixing was heaving him overboard. All the air was sucked out of his lungs when he hit the icy water.

He floundered, gasping from the coldness.

“Your Highness!”The prince barely seemed to hear the call, looking up to see Yixing’s face smiling down at him.

He grinned back weakly but the other man’s smile froze suddenly and Yifan heard him scream before he vanished.

“Yixing!”

Yixing cried out in pain when he was yanked backwards by his hair, knees buckling from the force. He caught sight of his father’s furious face, adrenaline racing through his bloodstream when he registered the pistol pointed at his face.

“How dare you!” The captain roared, face red with fury. The brunette looked into his father’s eyes and felt nothing. He knew he regretted nothing.

“I couldn't let his father lose a son.” He whispered and his father’s face went slack, his grip on his pistol loosening. He released his son as the look of fury on his face softened. For a moment, Yixing thought that he was safe.

There was a crack of gunfire and pain exploded through his body, red blooming across his shirt. He doubled over, barely catching sight of the flurry of emotions that crossed his father’s face.

The sky suddenly seemed so much more blue, the smell of salt tinged air so much more intense. It was as if the world was trying to compensate the void of darkness he was about to fall into by showing him beauty that he never noticed before.

He could see himself reflected in his father’s eyes as he fell, strong arms wrapping around his torso to catch him as if in slow motion. The metallic tang of blood in the air repulsed him but it also seemed so familiar.

Memories flew through his mind as his father’s anguished cries became softer and softer. His father’s face was becoming blurry even as he reached out, curling fingers around his jaw.

“Pa…pa.” His thumb brushed away the tear that had started to drip down his father’s face. He could feel himself being laid down, a solid surface against his back but all he could see was his father’s face, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“I… forgive…” His hand shook and a strong, calloused hand caught it as it fell. Warmth spread through him when he heard his father say his name.

“Yixing.” Child like laughter filled his ears and he saw a little boy being swung around and around in his father’s arms.

"I forgive you.”

His lips curved up in a smile as his eyes fluttered close, the teardrops clinging to his lashes looking like little pearls that splashed onto his face.

 

//

“Your Highness!” Strong arms wrapped around Yifan’s body and he was dragged onto a life raft. His personal guard, Chanyeol, was staring back at him.

“Yixing.” He gasped, gripping at the guard’s arm. A gunshot rang through the air and the prince cried out.

_Yixing._

Everything around him went by in a blur as he was brought up to the deck of his father’s ship, shivering and wet. Servants draped him with towels and his father. His father stood at the railings, holding his arms out.

The prince collapsed into his father’s embrace, sobbing.

"Yifan. Thank god, you're safe!” The king buried his face into his son’s golden hair, feeling tears sting his eyes.

“Yixing.” Yifan mumbled. Even with his vision blurred by tears, he could see the red that bloomed across the younger man’s chest on the other ship.

What he did not expect was the pirate captain’s stricken face as he caught his son in his arms. Yixing’s eyes were closed but his lips moved once more and his father clutched him close, a tortured scream escaping his lips.

“Yixing!” The prince pushed his father away and lunged for the railing. He could see Zhi Qiang clearly, the man who had attempted to hurt the younger man holding the smoking gun. A small smirk was etched across his face as he blew the smoke away from the gun’s barrel.

Anger and fury swept through Yifan as he stared. The pirate captain did not seem to have noticed as he collapsed onto his knees, his crew drawing back and away as he held on to his son’s body.

“Yixing.” The prince breathed, a tear trickling from his eyes and down the planes of his face.

//

Yifan picked up the apple, weighing it in his hand. The fruit reminded him of a conversation he had once had a long time ago, about dried fruit. The memory brought a soft smile to his face as he took a bite out of the apple’s flesh, digging a hand into his pocket to drop a gold coin into the stall owner’s hand.

He turned to the next stall which was selling exotic treasures and the stall owner spoke.

“Anything for you, Your Highness?”

His blood ran cold. _That voice._

Slowly, he lifted his head up to look. The man that stood in front of him was dressed in worn cotton clothes and his face was lined with a deep sadness.

“I…” Yifan could not take his eyes from the man’s sad hazel eyes. The same eyes that constantly haunted him and contributed to many sleepless nights. A small movement behind the man's back caught the prince's attention and his words died in his mouth.

"Yixing?" He breathed and the stall owner's shoulders tensed. The figure behind the man lifted his head and Yifan's breath caught.

"He's gone, Your Highness." The man's eyes were dark as he surveyed the prince. He never seemed to notice the ghostly white figure hovering behind him, gazing at the prince intently.

Yifan did not dare to breathe as he stared.

Yixing dimpled sweetly at him and as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone.

 

 

终是学不会 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to both of my betas who had worked on this with me! Even though my first beta could not continue working due to personal reasons, I thank you very much for giving me so much input and your reaction to the fic kept me going! To my other beta, thank you for being so encouraging and detailed in what my fic was lacking in! I hope you guys enjoy this! There is an alternate, happier ending that I initially planned for this but because this is the NoHappyEnding fest, this is the angsty ending!


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